If you grew up believing that being hard on yourself was the only way to improve, you’re not alone.

Many high-functioning parents carry an invisible rule: If I’m kinder to myself, I’ll become complacent, weak, or selfish.
But neuroscience, trauma research, and decades of clinical work tell a very different story.

Self-compassion isn’t indulgence. It’s regulation.
And regulation is the foundation of healthy parenting.

Shame says:
“There’s something wrong with me.”
Guilt says:
“I did something wrong.”

When your child cries, whines, ignores you, talks back, or melts down—you may feel an oversized reaction inside.
That reaction isn’t about your child.
It’s about the younger part of you that was once overwhelmed, dismissed, or shamed.

Cycle-breakers rarely feel like cycle-breakers. Why?
Because you’re doing the emotional labor your parents never had the support or tools to do.

Many people think depression is purely chemical or purely cognitive. But for most, depression is the long-term imprint of unresolved emotional wounds. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) offers a way to heal at the level where depression started—often long before adulthood.

Being a cycle breaker doesn’t mean you came from a “bad” family.
It means you are consciously choosing:

“The patterns stop with me.”

Cycle breaking is courageous, exhausting, beautiful work — and yes, it is absolutely possible.

Most people think of EMDR as a trauma therapy — which it is.
But research shows EMDR is also an evidence-based treatment for depression, especially when symptoms are rooted in unresolved experiences.

The term “inner child” often gets dismissed as too “woo,” but in psychology, it has a very clear meaning:
Your inner child is the part of your nervous system shaped by your earliest emotional experiences.

If you’ve ever reacted to your child and thought, “Why did I respond like that?” — you’re not alone.
Most of our parenting reactions were shaped long before we ever became parents.

This is the heart of reparenting — the process of tending to your younger emotional self so you can show up with intention, grounding, and compassion today.

The winter holiday season not only increases risk of physical illness leading to suggested precautionary regimens — the risk for emotional and mental illness is also high and should similarly encourage you to follow precautionary regimens. Check out these 5 precautionary regimens to help you feel more emotionally full this holiday season.

​You've probably heard the hype about Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing, or EMDR for short, but what is it and what's with the hype?

Check out the full article I was interviewed for by EatingWell here!

Check out my recent interview with Authority Magazine for some nuggets on joy and happiness during turbulent times.